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The Great Australian Simplicity Con: Why Most Minimalism Advice is Absolute Rubbish
Three coffee cups, seventeen self-help books, and a garage full of "essential" items I haven't touched in two years.
That was my reality check moment last Thursday morning when I realised I'd been living the exact opposite of the simple life I'd been preaching to my clients for the past decade. After 18 years consulting with businesses across Sydney and Melbourne, helping them streamline operations and cut unnecessary costs, I'd somehow managed to accumulate enough personal clutter to stock a small department store.
Here's what the minimalism gurus won't tell you: most simplicity advice is complete bollocks designed to sell you more stuff. Books about having less stuff. Courses about decluttering. Storage solutions for your minimalist lifestyle. The irony would be hilarious if it wasn't so profitable for the people selling it.
The Productivity Paradox Nobody Talks About
I learned this the hard way after implementing every system from Getting Things Done to the latest Japanese organising method. Know what happened? I spent more time managing my systems than actually getting things done. Classic case of the cure being worse than the disease.
The real problem isn't that we have too much stuff - it's that we've forgotten how to make decisions. Every item in your house represents a decision you made, and if you're like 73% of Australian households (yes, I made that statistic up, but it feels right), you're probably making decisions based on fear rather than need.
Fear of missing out. Fear of not having enough. Fear of looking unsuccessful.
I've worked with CEOs who own seven different coffee machines but can't decide which one to use each morning. That's not a storage problem - that's a decision problem wrapped up in an identity crisis.
Why Simple Doesn't Mean Easy
Let me be brutally honest about something that might upset the Marie Kondo crowd: some things don't spark joy, but you still bloody well need them. Your tax records don't spark joy. Your insurance documents don't spark joy. That fire extinguisher in your kitchen better not spark anything at all.
The whole "does it spark joy" concept works beautifully for a Netflix show but falls apart when you're dealing with the mundane realities of adult life. I tried it once with my filing cabinet. Turns out the ATO doesn't care if your receipts spark joy - they still want to see them.
What actually works is what I call the "Three-Touch Rule": if you haven't touched something in three months, haven't thought about it in three weeks, and can't imagine needing it in the next three days, it's probably safe to let it go. Unless it's your first aid kit. Or your passport. Or your backup hard drive.
Simple living isn't about owning fewer things - it's about owning the right things for your actual life, not the Instagram-worthy life you think you should be living.
The Australian Context They Always Ignore
Most simplicity advice comes from people living in 800-square-foot apartments in Manhattan or tiny houses in California. That's all well and good, but it doesn't translate to Australian living, where we've got actual seasons, actual distances between cities, and actual space to store things we might need later.
I learned this when I tried to implement a capsule wardrobe in Brisbane. Brilliant idea, except I forgot about the three months of the year when it's too hot to wear anything with sleeves, and the two weeks when it's too cold to leave the house without a proper jacket. My "capsule" ended up looking more like a costume department for a weather documentary.
The geography matters. If you live in Perth and your nearest IKEA is three hours away, you probably want to keep that spare furniture leg just in case. If you're in Sydney and can get replacement parts delivered the same day, maybe you don't need to hoard every screw and bracket.
What Actually Works (And What Doesn't)
After years of trial and error - mostly error - here's what I've discovered actually makes life simpler:
Buy once, cry once. Good quality items that last are simpler than constantly replacing cheap junk. Yes, paying $200 for a decent office chair hurts initially, but it's simpler than buying five $40 chairs over three years and dealing with the constant back pain and disposal hassles.
This philosophy transformed how ANZ approached their office fit-outs back in 2019 - they invested in quality furniture that their employees actually wanted to use, rather than the cheapest options that needed replacing every two years. Result? Lower costs, happier staff, and fewer furniture-related injury claims.
Automate the boring stuff. Set up automatic bill payments, automatic savings transfers, automatic grocery deliveries for the basics. Free up your mental energy for decisions that actually matter. Time management isn't about managing time - it's about managing decisions.
Create default answers. This one changed everything for me. Instead of deciding what to wear each morning, I have default outfits for different types of days. Instead of deciding what to have for breakfast, I have three go-to options depending on how much time I have. Decision fatigue is real, and it's exhausting.
The Stuff You Actually Need to Keep
Despite what the extreme minimalists say, there are things worth keeping that you might not use often:
Tools. A decent screwdriver set, a hammer, some basic plumbing supplies. Not because you're planning to become a tradesman, but because waiting for a professional to fix a loose door handle costs more in time and money than just doing it yourself.
Emergency supplies. Torch, batteries, first aid kit, some tinned food. We live in a country where natural disasters are a fact of life, not a theoretical concern.
One good set of everything. One sharp knife, one reliable pan, one warm coat, one comfortable pair of shoes for every occasion you might actually encounter. The key word is "good" - quality items that work when you need them.
The Simplicity Trap
Here's where I might lose some readers: sometimes the simple solution is to just accept that life is complex and stop trying to optimise everything.
I spent three months trying to find the perfect digital note-taking system. Tested everything from Notion to Obsidian to handwritten bullet journals. You know what works best? Whatever system you'll actually use consistently. For me, that's a mix of Apple Notes for quick thoughts, a physical notebook for meeting notes, and a simple to-do list app for tasks.
Is it perfectly integrated? No. Does it work? Absolutely.
The pursuit of the perfect simple system often becomes more complicated than just living with a slightly imperfect but functional approach. Perfectionism and simplicity are natural enemies.
Money and Simplicity
Nobody wants to admit this, but money makes simplicity easier. Not because you need expensive things, but because you can afford to make different choices.
When you're financially stressed, keeping broken items "just in case" makes sense because replacement costs matter. When you have financial buffer, letting go becomes easier because you know you can replace something if needed.
The real simplicity comes from having enough financial security to make choices based on preference rather than fear. That might mean paying extra for services that save time, or buying quality items that last longer, or simply having the peace of mind that comes from an emergency fund.
The Melbourne Test
I have a simple test for whether something deserves space in your life: if you were moving to Melbourne tomorrow and had to pack everything into a removalist truck, would you bother packing this item?
If the answer is no, why are you keeping it now?
This test revealed some uncomfortable truths about my own attachments. Books I'd never re-read. Kitchen gadgets that made cooking more complicated, not simpler. Clothes that didn't fit but that I kept "just in case" my body changed back to what it was in 2015.
The Melbourne Test isn't about actually moving - it's about honestly assessing the value you place on your possessions when you have to put a dollar figure on keeping them.
What Simplicity Actually Looks Like
Real simplicity isn't a white-walled apartment with three pieces of furniture. It's having what you need when you need it, without having to dig through piles of what you don't need to find it.
It's knowing where your important documents are. It's having clean clothes available without playing laundry roulette. It's being able to cook a decent meal without ordering takeout because you can't find a clean pan.
It's having conflict resolution skills so you don't accumulate emotional baggage the way you accumulate physical clutter. Because mental clutter is just as exhausting as physical clutter, and it's a lot harder to put in a charity bin.
Simplicity is about reducing friction in your daily life, not creating Instagram-worthy vignettes that look good but don't function well for real living.
The Real Simple Truth
After all these years of consulting and trying every system under the sun, here's what I've learned: the goal isn't to have less stuff or more stuff. The goal is to stop thinking about stuff so much.
When your possessions serve your life instead of dominating it, when your systems work automatically without constant attention, when you can find what you need without stress - that's when you've achieved real simplicity.
Everything else is just people trying to sell you solutions to problems you didn't know you had.