Acceptance of Others: Why Your Judgmental Workplace Attitude is Killing Your Career

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The bloke sitting across from me at the quarterly review meeting had mustard on his tie and a habit of clicking his pen every thirty seconds. Classic. My immediate thought? "How did this guy even make it to senior management?"

That was 2009. Fast forward sixteen years, and that same "mustard tie guy" is now the CEO of one of Melbourne's fastest-growing consultancies. Meanwhile, I was still arguing with receptionists about parking validation.

Here's the uncomfortable truth nobody wants to discuss at those diversity and inclusion workshops: most of us are absolutely terrible at accepting others, and it's costing us more than just awkward lunch conversations.

The Real Cost of Being a Workplace Judge

I spent the better part of my early career thinking I was brilliant at reading people. The woman who spoke too softly in meetings? Clearly lacked confidence. The team member who always ate lunch alone? Obviously antisocial. The manager who never joined after-work drinks? Definitely not a team player.

Turns out I wasn't reading people. I was projecting my own insecurities and biases onto everyone around me like some kind of dysfunctional workplace psychic.

According to a study I read recently (okay, it might have been a LinkedIn post, but stay with me), organisations with higher levels of interpersonal acceptance see 47% better retention rates. Whether that figure is precisely accurate or not, the principle rings true in every office I've worked in across Sydney, Brisbane, and Perth over the past decade and a half.

Why We Judge (And Why We're Usually Wrong)

The human brain loves shortcuts. It's why we assume the person who arrives fifteen minutes late is disorganised, rather than considering they might be dealing with childcare challenges or public transport failures. We create stories about people based on limited information because it makes our world feel more predictable and manageable.

But here's where it gets interesting. Remember that CEO with the mustard stain? Turns out his pen-clicking was a technique he learned to manage anxiety. The stain happened because he'd been up all night caring for his wife who was undergoing chemotherapy. The man wasn't incompetent – he was holding his professional world together while his personal one was falling apart.

The Acceptance Advantage

When you genuinely accept others – quirks, differences, and all – something magical happens in the workplace. Not the fluffy, feel-good kind of magic (though that's nice too), but the bottom-line, career-advancing, actual-results kind of magic.

People start trusting you with information they wouldn't normally share. That colleague who seemed standoffish? Once I stopped judging her reserved nature, she became one of my most valuable collaborators. Turns out she wasn't unfriendly – she was just processing information differently than I was.

Teams I've consulted with who practice genuine acceptance consistently outperform their judgemental counterparts. They share ideas more freely, take calculated risks, and recover from failures faster. It's like removing friction from a machine – everything just works better.

The Three Acceptance Myths That Keep You Stuck

Myth 1: Acceptance means lowering your standards. Absolute rubbish. Accepting someone's communication style doesn't mean accepting poor performance. You can acknowledge that Sarah prefers written communication over verbal while still expecting her reports to be thorough and on time.

Myth 2: Some people just aren't worth accepting. I used to think this too. But even the most challenging personalities often have something valuable to offer. The micromanager might have caught critical details others missed. The pessimist might be identifying real risks everyone else is ignoring.

Myth 3: Acceptance is a weakness. This one drives me mental. Acceptance requires more emotional intelligence and self-control than judgement does. Anyone can criticise. It takes actual skill to find value in different approaches and personalities.

Practical Acceptance in Action

Start small. Next week, pick one person at work who irritates you. Instead of focusing on what annoys you about them, spend time identifying one strength they bring to the team. Just one.

I remember doing this exercise with a colleague who constantly interrupted meetings. Instead of getting frustrated, I noticed he was actually synthesising complex information quickly and asking questions that moved discussions forward. His interruptions weren't rude – they were his way of processing information in real-time.

The Brisbane Banking Story

Three years ago, I was working with a Brisbane-based financial services team that was struggling with internal conflict. The mortgage specialists thought the investment advisers were elitist. The investment advisers thought the mortgage team was unsophisticated. Everyone thought the admin staff were just order-takers.

After implementing some acceptance frameworks (nothing revolutionary – just structured ways to appreciate different working styles), their client satisfaction scores jumped 23% in six months. Why? Because when team members stopped judging each other, they started leveraging each other's strengths. The mortgage specialists' practical approach complemented the advisers' strategic thinking. The admin staff's attention to detail caught errors that could have cost clients thousands.

When Acceptance Goes Too Far

Now, let's be clear about something. Acceptance doesn't mean becoming a doormat. I'm not suggesting you accept genuinely harmful behaviour or incompetence. If someone is consistently late, unprepared, or treating colleagues poorly, that's a performance issue, not a personality difference.

The key is distinguishing between preferences and problems. Different working styles? Accept them. Ethical violations or consistent poor performance? Address them.

Building Your Acceptance Muscle

Like any skill, acceptance gets easier with practice. Start by questioning your immediate judgements. When you catch yourself thinking "This person is..." pause and ask "What evidence do I actually have for this conclusion?"

Sometimes the most valuable team members are the ones who initially rubbed you the wrong way. They challenge your thinking, bring different perspectives, and prevent groupthink. IBM has built their entire culture around this principle, and it's served them pretty well.

The Acceptance Ripple Effect

Here's what I've noticed after years of consulting: when one person on a team genuinely starts accepting others, it spreads. Not immediately – change is slow and people are sceptical. But gradually, defensiveness decreases, collaboration increases, and performance improves.

Last month, I watched a Perth mining company transform their safety meetings using acceptance principles. Instead of the safety officer lecturing about compliance, team members started sharing near-miss stories without fear of judgement. Incidents dropped 31% in three months because people felt safe reporting problems early.

The Bottom Line

Acceptance isn't about being nice or politically correct. It's about maximising human potential in your workplace. When people feel accepted for who they are (not just tolerated), they contribute more freely, take more ownership, and deliver better results.

That mustard-stained CEO I mentioned earlier? He offered me a job last year. Good thing I'd learned to look past the surface by then.

Your career success isn't just about your technical skills or industry knowledge. It's about your ability to work effectively with all kinds of people – not just the ones who think and act like you do. In today's diverse workplace, acceptance isn't a soft skill. It's a survival skill.

Stop wasting energy judging your colleagues and start investing it in understanding them. Your career prospects will thank you for it.

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Additional Resources: Hub Shop Blog